Where do you hold loss? I mean, you can’t hold what was, so where does that love go? It doesn’t dissipate. It can’t. I still feel it. Even through the art of grieving. Mourning is an honor because it means my love was so, very great. My world became quiet. The silence creeped in like the lump in my throat and for the very first time, I couldn’t bring myself to say a thing. I try grasping onto ideas of the future. How to plan for a smile. The excitement ahead. But it all falls back to yearning for things I once held closely- clenched fists and all. Tight to my chest. Nostalgia digs deep inside my brain- cracks my skull. Leaves a mark that’ll stay there forever. Can grief harm the hippocampus? Tell me truth. I won’t complain. I won’t question it. I’ll just sit in the loss. But I guess I’d rather feel everything than nothing at all- even the sad parts that change me. -AMT©️