I’m gripping my steering wheel in the parking lot of a church. I find myself here again. It’s like routine pain and I can’t outrun it. I follow the breeze and it carries me like a prayer. I’ve lost and won. I’ve fallen and gravity found me worth of letting me stand back up. I’ve prayed and gained, always. If you folded my mind inside out you’d find things like giving and caring and trying. I’ve never stopped. Pieces of me live in heaven and it rips through my mind like a wildfire. I’m no longer worthy of the smoke so I watch it dissipate. Outrun the pain, you never will, you never will, you never will. And if things bring you to your knees let it be at an alter. Try again and again and again until you feel it in your bones. Please understand that you were never meant to understand loss in the first place- you were meant to simply love anyways. -AMT©️