I took every memory and put it in an urn because I couldn’t rest until I earned the right to sleep. I tossed and turned until the room grew arms and swallowed me whole. I grew my hair long and tried to use it as a noose. When I woke up in darkness I found a match and struck it against callused skin. The whole room flooded with light and I danced in the flames with embers stuck between my teeth. Every time I screamed the flames would grow taller and I echoed that shit like a prayer. You asked me if burning it all down was worth it and I told you it was my fucking pleasure. I taste the smoke like a drug and I’ll light the whole thing up when I need to destroy a memory or two. Yesterday I rested in a pile of hot embers and finally slept for the first time in a long time. I made a home in the flames and it took a single fucking spark. It took loss. It took guts. It took destroying a piece of me for that much needed warmth. -AMT ©️