One by one I watched them leave. Every memory that was once a prayer. I swear I’m grateful. You watch me stumble. Watch me fight for it all. Watch me try. Watch me throw fists at the wind. Asking if everything is okay. I swear we were once okay. I feel sadness like longing through…

The wind reaches out to hold me and I let it carry me home. I feel pieces of heaven nearer than ever. It calls for me to remember the good. The parts of the story with highlighted words and scribbles in the margins. Pages torn, but used. I’m so glad I choose to read it…

I’m longing for versions of girlhood that are still in front of me. Breaking up with past versions of myself. Falling in love with new ones. Thanking my future self for caring. I glide through crowded spaces and everyone notices. They tell me about growing and pain and grief and loving and fear. I feel…

I’m waking up. Not how I used to. It looks different in the light. I’m finally letting pieces of it in and the warmth feels different. Feels sort of magical. You are racing down the halls of my mind and I won’t chase. I’ll peak around corners and find you where I hear laughter. I’m…

I just ask that you think of me once in a while. How time spent shape shifted into a memory- no beginning and no ending. Just a thoughtful moment layered in latticework that climbs to the corners of my brain. I’m a soul that will find the same people in every life time and choose…

It’s been eleven years since I lived off west 130th street. I drive there alone, when I feel alone, to be alone. The air strikes me and I wander back. I can taste the coldness and warmth all at once. I’m seventeen again. I’m unaware of how the world can gut you, then rebuild you…

I think of all the ways I can thank you for being my angel, both on earth and in heaven. We miss you. We carry on through everything you built for us. We lean into every piece of the story with gratitude, even the hard parts. You were a presence that made everyone feel at…

I made a home in your memory. If sad feelings could make a noise, I’m sure they’d scream. It’s all a fucking mess. The distance between us. The push. The pull. The wanting. The needing. I’m opening my arms to the world- here for the taking. What does it want of me anyways? Everything. Its…

I admit defeat. I’m longing. I’m rushing. I’m pulling back again. I’ve avoiding writing about the feeling of longing. I hang onto it with white knuckles grasping at the throat of everything I once knew. It’s already dead and I wasn’t the one to strangle it- I promise it killed me first. I’m calm, but…

Sad girl walking. I roam through it and forget as much as I can until it claws its way back into a memory. All the sad things. Avoid the feeling then remember how finality and love intersect. Time will guide you whether you’re looking for direction or not. If you dig your heels in the…