I made a home in your memory. If sad feelings could make a noise, I’m sure they’d scream. It’s all a fucking mess. The distance between us. The push. The pull. The wanting. The needing. I’m opening my arms to the world- here for the taking. What does it want of me anyways? Everything. Its hunger casts through the depths in which you swore you had nothing left. It’ll devour you, entirely. And when your strength pulls back- something crawls from your ribcage and musters up a sound that only you can hear. I think back on it all- how I miss the comfort and the needing and the waiting and the monotony. We miss more than a place or a moment- we miss a feeling. I reach for it in my dreams and wake up with empty palms. I’ll reach it in different lives. Look back on it all and laugh and cry and scream and breathe. I’ll fucking breathe for the first time in a long time. I’ll sloppily fold my arms around myself and learn to love her again, someway, somehow. I’ll curl up in a shadow of what was and take solace in the shade. Let my bones rest while my mind wanders aimlessly. Let the screams fade and fade away. -AMT ©️