I can’t stomach the feeling of new beginnings. My mind is wrapped around itself like the chain link fence we hopped over when the town slept. I’m not sure how to move on from moments that stitched me together long ago. I have the scars to prove it and if you don’t believe me, then I’m sorry you never took the long way home. When I feel longing, I miss everything at once. I tell myself I’ve done good things and the sadness never consumed me. But it changed a piece of me that was once whole- my spirit filled in the gaps where light couldn’t reach. I’m still learning how to hold both parts of myself together without shutting out light completely. There’s a newness in it all and I can’t let go of certain pieces, but life has a way of letting go for you. Everyone says how young I still am. How life stole a lot in a short amount of time. How new things can matter if I let it. -AMT ©️