In a different life I would take the long way home to a house that swallows the countryside. There would be no sight of humanity outside of daylight and I’d whisper every secret into the night. I’d lurk like a ghost who misses their home and haunt it like I mean it. I’d settle into the floorboards and become a part of every rotting edge. This thought plagues me and I’m not sure where to hold it. You’d call me every week to ask if I’m okay. You’d wonder why I sought solace in such lonely places. You’d cry from a far and I’d never even hear it. Pieces of me stitch borders of everywhere I’ve been. I weave through everyone’s heart like a scar- and when you feel sadness, you feel it throughout every space in your chest- like you swallowed it whole. You feel it so fucking deeply. You feel my absence like how the air sits thick after summer rain. It’s stuck in your pores now and the humidity makes you sick. I move on in silent mourning and wake up when I please. I take this home and push it deep beneath my bones where they begin to crack from the pressure. You’d have to shatter me in order to find it. I stay hidden and a part of you does too. I left the phantom pains for safekeeping and you’ll feel my absence forever. -AMT ©️