Count down slowly. Calling out to your former self and let her know everything will be alright. Breaking branches off tree limbs to understand what it feels like to take something without any intention of giving it back. You dare yourself to try alittle harder. Your mind is hardwired to soak up the comfort like salt in a wound, but you don’t even realize how bad the sadness spread until you’re bleeding out. The feeling lurks behind you like a ghost, and if you were able to pinpoint it then you would have killed it long ago. Nothing is linear. Your mind darts from moments in the past to every situation you got yourself into. You dream of simplicity, but it feels like a mirage. You haven’t slept in years and it’s starting to show. You say no to plans and keep comfort within arms reach. You tell yourself it’s part of healing, but know it’s the beginning of a new plot. It reeks of permanence. Sometimes you feel so close the edge you can almost feel the push behind you. And if you look backwards before you fall, then all you’ll see is a mirror. Just remember to count down slowly. Do it again and again until you remember how to stop the bleeding. Hide away to lick your wounds and bandage yourself up. Heal over and over and over again until you perfect it. -AMT ©️