Button up my blue sweater. It’s the first chilly morning in this mediocre world- sometimes I hate it here. Then it hits me like a daydream. I remember the distance that stretched throughout my mind where seeds were planted and flowers bloomed. I let my mind wander across those fields for years and years. Held myself up without reaching for something else to come and grab me. I stood on my own. Life struck lightening and the ground became cold- but it was the only place that felt safe. I crawled and hid away to lick my wounds. I watched heaven grow. The sadness and longing overflowed and drowned the garden. I haven’t been thirsty for anything since. People ask me what I’m up to these days- they look through me like broken glass. In a strange way, I feel like I’m home from war- learning how to breathe in this altitude. Trying to sift through the sadness and touch pieces of light to feel warmth again. Trying to remember what the flowers once smelled like. Trying to understand my world after pain. Unpacking my bags in this new home and remembering what each item once meant to me. Buttoning up the blue sweater you once wore and letting myself smile for a moment. -AMT