I’m feeling angry again. It’s starts to seep from my pores- I’m drenched in the fear. I cancel plans. Take the long way home and wonder if it’ll ever feel different. I stop too long at the red light where my dad taught me how to drive. I pass the house I grew up in and hate that it was ripped away from me. I count the trees alongside the valley and hope they never tear them down. I think about everything I’ve lost and gained and I can’t make peace with any of it. Closed fists. I don’t crumble under pressure. I never asked the world for a fucking thing. I hate the way sunlight feels on my skin, so I soak up the moonlight until I feel whole again. I’m numb to things that once moved me. I have no answers for the sadness so I just live in it. I’m following the hills back into town. It’s quiet in the nighttime. I hope the trees live forever. I hope the people who live in the house I grew up in make it home. I hope no one runs the red light at the street corner where I learned how to drive. I hope I’m not angry forever. -AMT ©️