She said she’s always thinking about Jesus and why she can’t understand heaven. I guess the world cut me down like the limbs off the tree we used to climb. Knotting pine and jagged edges. It felt less dangerous when I was with you. The summer feels cold lately and I’m not sure what to do with this feeling. My insides are tangling and the knots make me vomit like the time you couldn’t keep down the medicine. Said your body rejected it. Maybe that’s what this is. Maybe it’s some sort of rejection to what surrounds me. Maybe my body has a way of fighting back without me even realizing. I hope the seasons treat you better. I reminisce about the lives I’ve lived and how each character reached for me with shaking hands. I change with each season and it hurts. It’s supposed to cut deep. It’s supposed to burn a-little. It pushes me into corners of my mind that I never knew existed. It has a way of haunting, you know. The other day I thought about how we get to heaven- if we’re really trying hard enough. If anyone on earth even cares about it anymore. Maybe they all think we become a part of the trees, knotting limbs and all. -AMT ©️