Everyone keeps asking me if I’m okay. Well, only my best friend. She checks beneath the shadows where my light can’t shine and reminds me how soft a landing can be. I just have to let myself float gently. I’m not capable of such things. I can’t catch my breath. I can’t hold onto something without strangling it. I can’t stomach what the world tried to feed me. I keep having this dream where I sit closely with a group of strangers. I smoke a cigarette and we talk about the same book. I drink too much whiskey and end up shattering my teeth against someone’s knuckles. I kiss the cement and feel a dull ache swell from the back of my head. The heel of a boot meets my rib cage and the crunching sounds like breaking leaves. I choke on a puddle in the back of my throat and everything goes blank. Years later I meet these same people and have the same conversations about the same books. I tell my best friend I’ll never leave her side. Promise to take care of myself. I press the play button and start to taste the blood. Bewildered and unaware of everything that can happen if you blink too quickly. I’m just navigating how to be less afraid, with broken bones and all. -AMT ©️