Loss feels like falling hard against the earth and never fully standing back up. Grief makes you crawl. Grief makes you scream a silent prayer that no one can hear. Grief takes your hand where love once did and it strangles you. Wraps you in a sad smile and says, “it’s our turn to be friends”, even though you don’t need anymore friends. Your friends are worried but they don’t know how to say it without bursting all your seams back open. Your friends see this new friend and know it’s unwelcome. Now we all sit in silence and hope for a word that sounds like the voice of who you lost. And don’t forget the piece of you that was buried that day too. You miss her like a promise. Like a prayer. Like a bolt of lightening that strikes through your chest when you think about it for too long. I guess when you finally stand back up the world will look different, after all. You’ll see the greyed hues. Darkness will look more transparent. You’ll look for the empty spaces in between people and remember what once filled in those gaps. You’ll yearn for that fucking feeling because you just can’t grasp it. But at least you’ll be standing again.