Time has proven that the more you tangle your thoughts, the harder they are to unravel. How did you feel when all your warning signs led to the danger you feared all along? I write horror in every chapter with constant reminders of loneliness. I label it, “the tragedies that came true”. And my elders remind me thats just how life goes. But, no one sees how low you sink besides you. I mean you’re the one thats barely staying afloat. Drown your feelings in stolen whisky- bottle the love and anger and fear and show it how loud your waves crash. Ignore your friends and tell them you’re okay. Wait for their silence as confirmation in all things you fear. Let your family slip back into their monotony as they watch you from a distance and wave. Feel the tears boil in the belly of your existence and burst through when it’s finally time to let yourself feel again. Nothing feels as empty as loss and fear and sadness and when you mix these together, everyone turns the other way. You’re their warning sign. You’re the danger, now. You’re the reason they say, “be careful”. But you were so careful, right? You swore you’d heal with grace. You acted with such purpose in understanding your grief – but the fever crept up your neck once everything crashed through you. Did drowning feel lovely? You made it look gracious, even though you threw your fists up towards anything that came near. It’s not about strength. It never was. It was about surviving. It still is. -AMT ©️