I think things are changing. The walls are bending. I can’t stop staring at the cobwebs in the corners- who am I to crush a spiders home ? I don’t know why my fears comfort me- I keep them close, just to make sure that I can still feel something, even if I shake. I can’t let go of anything. It hangs from my heart like locket- I know the secrets to getting better are far away. I’m reminded of false healing everyday- It feels like talking about my father as a memory. Driving past the house I grew up in and wondering why the fuck they’d paint the front door red. How summer makes my skin crawl because I only liked the memory of it, not the season, after all. I think acceptance is the worst part- and I never truly let myself get there. I think the spiders can keep a home alongside me. I think things are changing. -AMT©️