Everything is well.

I claw my way out from the nightmares. They keep me alive- reminding me of reality. How it’s so much more than a distorted view of the ghosts that truly love me. Wake up, I’m not dozing off again- I tell myself this in between breaths as my eyelids swell with tears and slip away into a dream. The scary ones only have so much power and I will not feed them parts of my mind that they don’t deserve. My subsconcious can be mean. It can be real scary. close your eyelids to get away from the sun. Hold your breath to break away from the air. Cover your ears to make room for the echos in your brain. It’s laced in these things. I’m just a product of the bones and blood and bruises. I’m a vessel. I’m nothing more than my spirit. And that’s bigger than a nightmare that made nothing of me. And I’m mad. I’m angry again. I’m sickened by this world. But I’m also filled with such peace when my mother smiles at me. I feel okay again and again and again. I’ll practice that feeling until I decide that I’m worthy of it. And when everyone reminds me of how hard the past few years have been. When I dream about it. When strangers look through me with sadness- I’ll remind the world that everything is well.