I try to translate the meaning of the light tinge around your pupils. I never will. You’re tones crash waves and mine build mountains. I don’t think there’s harmony in that. My friends count miles and tell me how close we are to the finish line- how everything we hate will fall behind us like a shadow. I don’t think such a thing is possible. I let them carry me, though. At least I have that.

My mind is a balancing act between what I want and how to take care of myself. I’ve never been good at healing my wounds – look at my scars and tell me how to heal differently. I feel everyone’s hands catch me at once. Sew my lips together like a curse. I have nothing else to say and when I lean into the promises- that’s how you’ll know that I trust you. Give me time. Give me time. Give me time. They all beg me to stand without falling and I just need some time.

So let’s burn the forest down, all we need is a spark. It’ll shine like magic. Glow in an eerie hue. They never know it’s us unless you toss the cigarette bud. Hold it under your tongue for safekeeping. We drive off in the night and my heart trembles with every street lamp we pass. It illuminates our eyes. Creates the waves that crash against the base of mountains.

We drive on for miles in silence. AMT