I’m floating away in my dreams again. Reach out- they’re always trying to save me. Lately I’ve been drowning in my own thoughts. Deep breaths. Let’s practice how to expand the space in between our lungs. My mother tells me it’s all okay- I’m doing just fine. But I’m not as well as I thought. I mean, conning is lovely if you do it well. I lace the air with my poison and everyone eats the drug like a sin. Laughing through crooked teeth until everyone falls for my lies. But I’m still trying to get better.

Soaking in the moonlight so that it feeds me something other than the sadness. It’s been some sort of hell and I want to punish the parts of me that I hate. Make me sleep on a twin sized mattress- never feel daylight. Sharpen my teeth on broken glass. Cut the ties with broken fingernails. Turn away with the shadows. Watch it dissipate. Fall all over again. Why does everything feel so hopeless again? I guess I’ll keep floating away in my dreams. AMT