My eyes are begging me to let them shut- close the world off and surrender to sleep for awhile. Everyone keeps telling me that I’m doing well- but that’s just their way of coping too. My ears are bleeding again. Everything I hear makes me numb. I don’t care as much as I used to and I’m not sure if people notice. I drive far enough to forget my way home but that’s part of the thrill for me. Dump your playlist on the side of a highway and let the lyrics scatter all over the pavement. You were meant to be remembered that way- rooted across every surface so that everyone knows you’re still around- still showing us that anything can bloom if it wants to- still leaving pedals on my fingertips. My breathing hollows when I sink too deep into it all- but then I remember that my mother is a rib cage that protects my lungs and my heart is also my fathers. Somehow that helps me come back up for air- and even though it doesn’t taste as sweet, I swallow the truth and let myself reach through the surface every fucking time- just how they taught me. AMT