Lights were everywhere. That feeling of sinking and being flows through me without permission. Dew drips off my fingertips and I wish for a sunset. Open and close my eyes to know I’m still awake. I’m shaking again in my sleep because my bones can’t grip my flesh. This happens when I’m anxious. I’m shaking again. I’m shaking again. I’m shaking again. My eyes will suffocate- that’s why you feel like drowning when you see me. It’s like watching the flowers give into winter without questioning their own destruction- how I wish they’d live forever. I think about how thorns never die and I wonder how I can make myself as resilient as that. Opening my eyes to chaos as I indulge in it like a ritual. Hold my breath before I crash into a world that I never liked anyways. Remember where it took me. Know it needed me more than I need it. Empty prayers trickle down my palms like mercy. Lights were everywhere. -AMT