This world is poisoning me. I need strong blood in order to live. I drink things that thin my blood but it’s still strong. I’m praying less and that’s okay. This whole mess is okay. We are all okay. You ask me if I’m okay. I swear I’m okay. Watch me try. Watch me crawl and stand up like I never fell. Watch me stretch my hands to a sky that my God, who I know is your God, created. Watch me vanish in a dream and crawl to the back of my mind to reconcile with the damage. I’ve caused a lot of damage. I feel more damaged than I ever have. Say sorry to myself because I need to. Drink poison savagely to forget the feeling of being. The feeling of blood pumping through me so fast that it’s trying to catch up with my intentions. And my intention is to be okay again for the first time in a long time. I will crumble on my own until the world decides to own me. It never will. So I cough up the poison sewn in me and raise hands to block out the nonsense. Pray for a better day. Forgive the truth because maybe it never meant to hurt me. Feel the world turn as whiskey dreams call me home. This world is poisoning me. -AMT