I hate that the sun sets later now that it’s summer. I think it robs the moon of its sanity. Tricks it into believing that it’s nothing but a lonely shadow that reflects off the blank spaces in between stars. I’ve been staring at this mess for days. I’ve been collecting shrapnel from the moon, hoping to ignite my spirit. And I’ve felt numb for weeks, which felt like months that have actually turned into years. This has all been a mess for years and I’ve been screaming at the sky to let me rest. Held it ransom for my youth and I let it go with every regret. Every tangled thought that made me wonder how we got here. Every wish that never made it past the moon because I spoke short of a shooting star. Never believed in that sort of thing anyways. Wake up when the morning is too shy to greet me. 

-AMT 

I built bridges with my body so that you could walk over me to get to the ocean on the moon. Waves crashed too heavily and I woke up bruised from all the damage. Running away isn’t easy. It’s calculated. It’s indignant. It’s glorious in its own truth. Watch me levitate above the town I swore I could never leave and light it up with my screams- strike my words like a match. Watch as it eats the bridge and the bodies of the same people who built the bodies of water that swallow on the moon. I’m floating right next to it like your dreams that never stayed. The ones you promised to share and kept to yourself like a grudge. Come back down to meet you- I never will. I am the embers crowding an urn no longer waiting to earn the right to move on. Free. Now I move like water. 

-AMT 

I’m missing me. I’m not writing how I used to because my words were used too many times. Now they’re dried up and crumbling like the worn pages of your favorite book. You promised to read it. You never did. You fell asleep before the best chapter so now you’re unfolding false scenes in your dreams. I dare myself to wake up before the storm and I never do. Now I sit in puddles hoping for the storm to take me. Be still like the way my mother held me when I was scared of growing too fast. Watch my heart rip out of my skin because it carried the weight of things that never belonged to me. Close my eyes and I reread my favorite chapters- skip the bad parts for the sake of being and breathing. Do it when I’m missing me. 

-AMT